This week's haul of porn.
All those beautiful skins on those perfect vegetables. The flowers so gorgeous you can almost smell them through the pages. The shrubs and trees in their tantalizing poses, especially those fruit trees with yummy, blemish-free fruits that you long to just reach out and pluck. And the bulbs! Bulbs that burst from the covering garment of the Earth with their impossibly bright colors on perfect forms. It's all garden porn, I tell you, meant to entice us to sin by ordering more seeds and plants and bulbs than we can possibly care for or that we even have room for in our gardens!
And do I resist the temptation that these catalogs bring? Of course not! After all, where's the fun in resisting temptation.
I do have a complaint though. Several, actually.
The skins on my vegetables never look as perfect as those in the catalogs. My flowers may smell good but they always seem to look a little bedraggled. My shrubs and trees seem to grow very asymmetrically and their fruits are almost never without blemish. And bulbs? Fuhgeddabout it! I have no luck with bulbs.
So my complaint is that my plants never live up to the perfection promised by the seed catalogs. If only I could airbrush my garden to make it look more like all those gorgeous plants on the pages.
Well, as I sit by my fireplace on a cold winter day and browse my stash of garden porn, I can fantasize. Isn't that what porn is all about anyway?